||[Nov. 30th, 2005|04:00 pm]
You know what I do? I yell at my kids. I feel irritated, I feel exhausted, I feel frustrated and somehow I think it is ok to then LOSE IT and scream at them "SHUT UP! Will you KNOCK IT OFF already?? I'm sick to DEATH of listening to you kids bicker at one another, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Yeah, I yelled that at them. |
I really don't want to do that any more than I want to binge.
I am pre-menstrual. No excuse, just noticing.
I am on day 4 of abstinence and withdrawal from sugar...wow, 3.5 days of no sugar (at least...not that I KNOW of). I'm trying to drink more water and give myself a break.
Can I just say that this period business sucks now that I'm at it?
Ok, so I guess this is normal. I know plenty of people yell at their kids. It's not my first line of action, I am being hard on myself, blah blah blah. BUT, my actions do teach them how to react when they are stressed.
I will continue to seek better ways to express my frustration (if I need to express it at all). Sometimes feeling it and writing about it are good.
Fuck...I better bleed soon, because this HURTS!
Pain definately puts me on edge. I'm not sure how to manage that.
Sit with it and watch it. Over time something will change if it is important enough.
OOOOO I did medicine cards last night. FINALLY. I wish I had the time to write about it coherantly. I may at some point.
LOVING the cat. Yes, we got a cat! KIWI the gray tabby. Oh she's purty!